Monday, June 1


Do-It-Yourself Home Reparatory Kit

At this time of the year, it is good to remember the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the tutelary title of, among other things, the Sacred Heart Auto League. One of their lesser--though rather interesting--missions is that of reparatory driving . At first, I'll admit, the idea gave me a bit of an uncharitable chuckle (I think the words were, "are you serious?"), but since we're supposed to be good drivers, and presumably a lot of folks on the road hurl, shall we put it, their golf words against the Divinity when stuck in New York traffic (or possibly hurl bullets at humanity in Miami), it has a certain logic to it. Everything can be made a prayer if done well, after all, and it reminds us God's eye is upon us, for better or worse, when we're cutting off our fellow man in traffic. Plus, there's a whole lot to offer up when stuck behind some nitwit going 43 miles per hour on an interstate highway, at least until you can pass the strange fellow. So, offer it up when you're stuck at a yellow light behind the UPS van.

That being said, it suddenly brought to mind all the other reparatory activities that might not work out quite so successfully:

Reparatory water-balloon fights
Reparatory Beaujolais Nouveau wine-tastings
Reparatory stand-up comedy (unless it's listening to Carrot Top and offering up the accompanying pain)
Reparatory napping (a ministry of the Canons Regular of Our Lady of the Dormition)
Reparatory square-dancing
Reparatory fight club
Reparatory home repair
Reparatory badger spoon-poking
Reparatory accordion serenades (accordions being intrinsically evil)
Reparatory mime and street performance
Reparatory celebrity bowling tournaments
Reparatory charades (I'm told Trappists do this regularly)
Reparatory snacking (Hot Pockets also being close to intrinsically evil)
Reparatory extreme sports (though as the Olympics started out as a pagan religious festival, the idea could be baptized, one supposes)
Reparatory ultimate frisbee
Reparatory crowd-surfing and mosh pits
Reparatory World Wrestling Federation

Any others?

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?