Tuesday, February 3

 

What Do They Teach Them in These Schools?


I didn't actually read the remainder of this article; it's about the economic crisis (or something like that, I wasn't really paying attention) and I don't need someone to tell me things are crummy. The closed ex-pizzeria, ice-cream shop, sushi place, cabinet store and drycleaners along my walk to the subway are pretty clear indicators, though I suppose the unappetizing-sounding "House of Hummus"* being put in the ex-Moroccan restaurant next to the frame store/furniture shop run by the Iranian guy suggests not so much a potential upturn so much as futher desperation. But what struck me was the opening line:
Puritans love disasters. No sooner has some calamity befallen mankind than some hair-shirted scold emerges from his priest hole and starts wagging his finger. The message is always the same: ‘You are being punished for your immoral lifestyle.’
What, pray tell, is a Puritan doing in a priest hole? Is he subletting from St. Philip Howard? Why is he emerging from his hiding-place? Why did he go in the first place? Is this some sort of Odd Couple scenario and is he stuffed in there with some poor long-suffering Jesuit? Is it an ecumenical condominium? Who else is back there, the Panchen Lama, Patriarch Kirill or the Aga Khan? The mind reels.

*Humus with one 'm' is dirt. Hummus tastes slightly less interesting.

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