Thursday, April 17
Highlights of the HWTN Coverage for the Pope's Visit
In a Jesuitically cunning move, typical of papistic strategy, the Holy Father distracted President Bush with his shiny pectoral cross as a diversionary tactic while swarms of redcoated Jacobite mercenaries swarmed over the White House.
"And that, Holy Father, is where the Basilica sustained damage by Mothra during last month's attack."
"But I do understand you got many beautiful silk chausuables out of the incident, ja?"
"Using silk for chausubles, how whimsical..."
"Quick! Agent Smith! You must keep the little girl away from the Pontiff! She knows too much about the Matrix!"
"There has got to be a better way to get to the ambo, people."
Sister Assumpta, Sniper First Class of the Special Executive Action Section of the Poor Clares, watches, eagle-eyed, for potential liturgical abuses.
"Hmmm. Und now I am in a giant vhite void. Maybe zere is something to this Matrix thing after all. But vhere are ze awesome racks of machine guns and croziers and such? Someone tell Georg that I am stuck in ein komputer game."
"Haha, yes. Now I smile but zhis is the book Monsignor Marini und I are going to throw at you for zhat merengue-style offertory number."