Wednesday, April 16


A Preview of This Fall's New Lineup on Holy Whapping Television Network (HWTN)

30 Petrus: The sponsor of HWTN's The Mulier Fortis Show, the Sheinhardt Zuchetto Company, has just been bought out by Oregon Cathar Press, and wants to make some changes! Head writer Emily Lemon (Tina Fey) now has to grapple with her new supervisor, the green-clerical-shirt-wearing Fr. Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), OCP's President of East Coast Television and Liturgical Dance Choreography, who wants to hire addled Dutch Dominican Joordan Traacy--last seen running through traffic in Amsterdam screaming "The laity can confect the Eucharist" and dressed in a purple chasu-alb--as the show's new star. Blerg.

The Two Babylon 5s: This week, Charles Taze Russell (actually a Vorlon agent) explains to Jeffrey Sinclair that Valen and Nimrod are the same person. Londo begins to wonder if Pope Alexander VI was really a Centauri alien. Pink Drazi and Purple Drazi argue over liturgical colors.

Infomercial for Crazy Achmed's Ottoman Empire: This week, grand closeout sale, as Crazy Achmed just got bought out by competitor Ataturk's Hassocks, famed for their exclusive Bauhaus Constantinople line. With St. Marco d'Aviano.

The Big Bang Theory: Nerdy priest-scientist Fr. Lemaitre and liturgy geek Adrian Fortescue, after getting thrown together in the clerical grad student dorm at Louvain, try to cope with the real world after discovering nobody else shares their niggling enthusiasm for high-energy physics and liturgical minutiae.

Persepolis: The Animated Series: [We better cancel this as, while we initially thought it was a cartoon about Iranian nuns, it turns out they all dress that way. Run My Uncle Napoleon instead, though let's not forget the subtitles this time.]

HTWN Movie-of-the-Week: Curse of the Rose Panther:
Monsignor Clousseau must discover who stole his pink chasuble without driving his Citroen into a swimming pool, or cause Bishop Dreyfuss to question the benevolence of God or be inadvertently killed by his Chinese sacristan Cato.

The Imam of Dibley: The fellahin of Dibley in the emirate of Al-Angrezi (formerly Great Britain) have a dreadful shock when they discover their new village mufti wears a burqa!

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