Sunday, May 13


Ten More Facts about the Duke of Edinburgh

Once again, young Cusack and Co. are afoot, with what looks to be the quintessential New York Anglophile webzine, Norumbega. I haven't had much of a chance to peruse it yet, but at the very least, with that crew, it's bound to be entertaining, whatever your politics or perspective. (I am not really an Anglophile, but there's not really anywhere online for those of us who think 17th century Rome was the greatest thing since sliced bread.) I note with particular interest "Thirty Facts about the Duke of Edinburgh," a crusty old chap who I've always had a soft spot for, if only for his miraculous and precisely-calibrated utter absence of tact.

I am, however, disappointed that they forgot these facts:
10. If you get snubbed by Prince Philip at a Buckingham Palace Garden party, you DIE.

9. Prince Philip's tears can cure the king's evil. Too bad he never cried.

8. The leading causes of death in the British Empire are 1. heart disease. 2. Prince Philip. 3. Cancer.

7. Prince Philip can chug twelve gallons of tea in an hour.

6. Prince Philip invented the secret recipe for marmite with yeast, salt, vegetable extract, niacin, spices and vitamins. But nobody knows the final ingredient: FEAR.

5. When Argentina invaded the Falklands, the British didn't send an army, they sent Prince Philip.

4. If it was tapped, Prince Philip's sarcasm could power the Duchy of Cornwall for twelve years.

3. Prince Philip is the only man who has walked the Queen's corgis and lived.

2. When Prince Philip tells knock-knock jokes, he starts wars.

1. Prince Philip is RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
More can be found here. The Americans just stole them and inserted "Chuck Norris" in place of the Prince Consort's name. Seriously. Ask Buckingham Palace. Unless you're afraid.

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