Monday, March 26


From P.J. O'Rourke, The Bachelor Home Companion

"The problem with grocery shopping is it lacks an element of surprise. Wait until you're really hungry before going to the store. This way you'll make lots of surprising impulse purposes. It's like Christmas when I get the grocery bags home. I don't know what might be in there--a ten-pound bag of pistachio nuts, jars of pickled squid, tinned guava jelly, goat pate. However, it's hard to make a simple omlet with pistachio nuts, pickled squid, tinned guava jelly and goat pate, too. This means another trip to the store.

"Why does everything come in Giant Size, King Size, and Holy Roman Empire size boxes? A package of macaroni as big as a Japanese car is not what I need. I don't understand unit pricing. There's the price, the unit price, the sale price, but what does the [theologically-themed expletive] thing cost?"

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