Monday, August 21
If I ran ETWN's Promo Department
The music stops, with the abrupt sound of a record squealing.
The camera pulls back to see a seated man wearing a black cassock, white surplice, biretta and a red deacon's stole with the word RED RUBRIC in white. He stands up, thrusts out his hand, a Red Rubric Brand Missal held up proudly. The dancers scatter. Camera pulls in.
RED RUBRIC DEACON: (Jamaican accent) Boo, creepy liturgical dancers! (A priest in a fiddleback chausible holding a covered chalice walks in and goes up to the altar.) Hooray Mass!
Cut to still life of chalice, missal on stand, and paten.
DEACON: (Voice-over, with flashing caption to match) It's Mass! HOORAY Mass!
(Okay, if you don't get the joke, maybe this will help.)