Sunday, September 18

"Many great questions press upon my soul and I feel compelled to share them with you. For instance, why is the Ti-di-Bol Man so happy about living in a toilet? Why do Latin American dictators insist on wearing sunglasses and skinny little mustaches when they know it only makes them look sleazy? Exactly what are we saving daylight time for? [...] Why, if I kill a baby seal, am I a terrible man, but if I squash a baby cockroach I am a good man? But, you say, the seal is a helpless animal in the wild, while the cockroach is a pest...then I would say, 'How would you like to have a few hundred baby seals living under your sink?'"

--The Guru (Tim Kazurinsky), Saturday Night Live, 19 February 1983

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