Sunday, February 13
Here, at the Shrine, we do not of course encourage in dangerous college-student pranks such as, for example, setting couches on fire and pushing them through the window, which seems to have been about the only thing P.J. O'Rourke did that was worthwhile during his years at Miami of Ohio. (Incidentally, googling "P.J. O'Rourke couch Miami" produces very little of use). Sure, there's the peculiar rituals associated with Zahm Residence Hall, such as the mid-week procession of all the former and present inhabitants of one particular room who march around the building chanting the phone number, or the report alleged by my friend Andy that my dorm's inhabitants went over and mooed repeatedly at his dorm at the beginning of his freshman year. Make of that, semioticians, what you will. I've also heard rumors of people climbing up the geodesic dome of the ugliest building on campus, the Stepan Center. Note that the Stepan Center website does not have a functioning image gallery. Hopefully it never will.
From personal experience, I can mention there was that brief period when my friend Steve and I considered and rejected an April Fools' prank revolving around the idea of placing forged documents in the Mediaeval Institute in order to substantiate a claim that the Holy Grail was hidden on the (inaccessible) third floor of the library. The Ark of the Covenant may well be there, too, like in the last scene of Indiana Jones.
But we have never ever even thought of blowing up a microwave, much less doing it like our translatlantic friend Andrew Cusack recently did. By the way, doesn't "Country Life (Blowing Up Microwave)" sound like the title of a song? Maybe the Sanctus Belles (the mythical all-girl Tridentine punk rock band which surfaces from time to time on this blog) can do a cover of it.