Monday, January 31
DOUGAL: Wow, Ted, it's like a big tide of jam comin' towards us, except its a big jam made out of old women.
TED: Once again, you've made me look like a complete idiot in front of real people. Thank you so much.
TED: (After singing My Lovely Horse) So what did you think about it in general, then? (Father Jack pulls out a shotgun and shoots Ted's guitar.) Right.
DOUGAL: I know! Well lure them into a giant bingo game!
TED: And how are we going to do that?
DOUGAL: We'll print up some bingo cards on our printing press and...oh.
TED: Yes, it's the lack of a printing press that lets us down there. Or bingo balls. Or a PA system. Or in fact, any bingo paraphernalia at all.
DOUGAL: Darn. So near, yet so far.
MRS. DOYLE: Are you looking forward to your lunch tomorrow, Father?
TED: Hmmm? I suppose so.
MRS. DOYLE: You do like pheasant, don't you Father?
TED:Pheasant? I love pheasant.
MRS. DOYLE: Well there's a little clue. The thing you'll be eating likes pheasant as well.
TED: Dougal, how did you get into the Church in the first place? Was it like "Collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?"
TED: (on phone) Hello, is that the Yin dynasty? Family, sorry, the Yin family.
JACK: I LOVE MY BRICK!
It's nice to have a nun around. Gives the place a bit of glamour.
DOUGHAL: As if magic, I can create a crowd of invisible ducks.
TED: It's banned in most European countries, which means it's good.