Wednesday, October 13
From The Encyclopedia of Failed Ideas:
Malachy O'Less, St. (also known as Malachy the Forgettable, 1106-?) The half-brother of the more famous St. Malachy O'More (Maolmhaodhog ua Morgair), the famous archbishop of Armaugh and purported prophet of papal succession. Unlike his illustrious sibling, Malachy O'Less did not have the gift of prophesy, and instead forgot nearly everything that occurred to him in the past. As a consequence, he became famous as a great confessor. A description of his death seems to have been written down but got mislaid after being used as a coaster by the monastery brewer. He is patron saint of procrastinators, the witness protection program, the Dick van Dyke Show, those creepy pictures of big-eyed kids who look like aliens, and amnesia when used as a plot device in Colombian soap operas. Along with the prophet Ezekiel, he is invoked to ward off Erik von Daniken.
In 1648, a spiral-bound notebook of incomprehensible prophesies attributed to him was discovered stuffed behind a radiator in the Holy Office. One initial theory was that it was a sequel to the best-selling prophesies begun by his brother concerning the end of the world, though this was discarded after microscopic analysis by Anton van Leeuwenhoek uncovered a partially-erased palimpsest consisting of the words "Dan" and "Brown" repeated 666 times.
Another theory, brought forward only a few years ago, suggests that the text is in the list of next year's contestants on Survivor, or possibly the lyrics to Louie Louie. An epistle bearing his name that denounces Thomas Kinkaide as a sign of the Apocalypse is thought to be apocryphal, as is another fragmentary prophesy which alleges the anti-Christ will come to earth in the form of a velvet painting of a crying clown.
Malachy O'Less, St. (also known as Malachy the Forgettable, 1106-?) The half-brother of the more famous St. Malachy O'More (Maolmhaodhog ua Morgair), the famous archbishop of Armaugh and purported prophet of papal succession. Unlike his illustrious sibling, Malachy O'Less did not have the gift of prophesy, and instead forgot nearly everything that occurred to him in the past. As a consequence, he became famous as a great confessor. A description of his death seems to have been written down but got mislaid after being used as a coaster by the monastery brewer. He is patron saint of procrastinators, the witness protection program, the Dick van Dyke Show, those creepy pictures of big-eyed kids who look like aliens, and amnesia when used as a plot device in Colombian soap operas. Along with the prophet Ezekiel, he is invoked to ward off Erik von Daniken.
In 1648, a spiral-bound notebook of incomprehensible prophesies attributed to him was discovered stuffed behind a radiator in the Holy Office. One initial theory was that it was a sequel to the best-selling prophesies begun by his brother concerning the end of the world, though this was discarded after microscopic analysis by Anton van Leeuwenhoek uncovered a partially-erased palimpsest consisting of the words "Dan" and "Brown" repeated 666 times.
Another theory, brought forward only a few years ago, suggests that the text is in the list of next year's contestants on Survivor, or possibly the lyrics to Louie Louie. An epistle bearing his name that denounces Thomas Kinkaide as a sign of the Apocalypse is thought to be apocryphal, as is another fragmentary prophesy which alleges the anti-Christ will come to earth in the form of a velvet painting of a crying clown.
![[SMMMHDH]](http://www.mgilleland.com/music/smmmhdh.png){kind=small}
