Sid's Ginseng Pagoda, c. 2001, in the aftermath of the end of the TanglePlastic fiasco

From Matt's Encyclopedia of Failed Ideas:

Muskrat Pops: The top-selling breakfast cereal of 1967-1974 in the Prairie provinces of Canada. Invented by William Holdhurst, a high-born member of the Calgary social elite with an extreme fascination for rodents, it reached all-time popularity in 1973 when the Captain (though, as it transpired, not Tenille) gave permission for Muskrat Love to be used in commercials. Tenille, already irritated at the Captain's spurious assumption of military (or naval?) rank, cried foul, and the song was pulled three weeks into the ad campaign. The Muskrat Pop boom quickly deflated, further irritated by an extremely infelicitous typo on the new chocolate-flavored sub-brand which accidentally added an extra 'o' in the most unfortunate of places.

Holdhurst attempted to recoup in the mid-80s by attempting to create a special health bran-flake cereal for Weetabix called "Nutria," but it never got past the drawing board.

Tangle Plywood Music Festival: This notorious 'easy-listening' concert series was held from 1995-1998 in the vacant backlot behind Sid's Wholesale Ginseng Pagoda in the Chevy Chase suburb of Washington, D.C.. Started by Marty Flamsteed, a one-time band member on the long-running Lawrence Welk Show, it came to a brutal end after three years and had to be broken up by a squad of ATF snipers.

Quitting Welk in 1984 because of the omnipresent odor of Metamucil and warm prune juice on the set, Flamsteed broke away to form an all-conch-shell big-band ensemble called Lawrence and the Whelks, which broke up six months later because of the impossibility of playing 'bubble music' on empty mollusc shells and also the impending threat of a lawsuit. Flamsteed, crushed, moved on to organize the first 'easy-listening' music festival in history. It began in 1995 after nearly a decade of work with performances by Yanni, Barry Manilow, and an accordion troupe whose name is lost to history.

Introducing Enya to the mix in '97 would prove to be a momentous and ultimately tragic decision as it attracted vast swathes of New Age followers and also the sponsorship of Dramamine. However, Dramamine's concession stand proved to be somewhat redundant, while Enya's fans proved increasingly uncontrollable. A riot broke out in the middle of a performance of "MacArthur Park" when a wiccan high priestess overturned a vat of scalding-hot patchouli oil on a strolling Buffy Summers impersonator, while John Tesh nearly had his eye put out by a joss-stick wielding hippie. Yanni vowed never to return after someone sneaked into his trailer one evening while he was sleeping and shaved him.

In 1998, the festival finally had to close down only three days into the series because a rogue splinter group of Enya fans code-named "The Willow Rosenberg 7" attempted to sacrifice Henry Mancini to the Celtic war goddess Morrigan in the middle of the Burt Bacharach Tribute Q-and-A Session. In 1999, Flamsteed died a broken man above a used records store in Boulder, Colorado, clutching a Ravi Shankar album to his heart.