Random Quotations from the Past Week from Myself and my Friends

"Ah, the Nashville Dominicans, those heartbreakers..."

A friend describes the carpets in the new Performing Arts Center: "It looks like nineteen-sixties Victorian."

"...manly lace..."

Myself, feeling left out: "We altar boys never got to have groupies."

"That would make a good alb."

"That Catholic book discussion group...probably a good place to meet women."

"I've got some phytoplankton!"

"Cassock alert!"

My friend Stephen: "I think we should start a fashion trend among Catholic men of wearing swords in public."

An angry arkie: "I am going to specifically write an article telling people not to call it [the Performing Arts Center] the 'PAC.'"

"I can't help it; I like argyle."

"We're watching a program about the world's greatest bathrooms."

G-Money comments on my axe-bearing beadle: "He's a Tridentine mass groupie!"

Andy: ...and then there was the female policeman--
Me: Was she cute?
Andy: What?
Me: I said, was she cute?
Andy: What does it matter if she was cute? She was a female policeman!

Me, on wearing an oversized surplice: "I felt wide. I felt like Archbishop Laud."

"Wanna talk about tropical fruit?"

Me, on being Hispanic: "I know, I know, I don't seem very Hispanic. There's lots of Cubans that don't seem Hispanic. We're everywhere. I think some day they'll give a signal over the radio or something and we'll all suddenly drop cover and break out the salsa music and big shirts..."

A key principle of liturgy: "We're in favor of more hats in the sanctuary. We're in favor of more hats in general."

"We Had...A Vision. Of a poster."

"Unisex. Meaning...BOTH SEXES!"

"You know, Josemaria Escriva banned Opus Dei members from listening to Pink Floyd. I find it funny we have a saint that contemporary."

"Mmmmmmm...cassocks."

Andy overhears one of my plans to re-translate the liturgy: "Did you just use 'Cranmerian' as an adjective?"

"...red cassocks with ruffles..."

"We've decided he's really Anglican. And Canadian."

"Show him the picture of the Latin Mass groupie!"

Laypeople interested in comparative clerical fashion:

Me: Father Collins [the Franciscan] was there.
A friend: And what was he wearing?

I expand on my friend's carpet assessment: "...nineteen-sixties retro George Jetson Disney Victorian..."

Me: "All the good women are in convents."

Andy solicits an opinion of our chant abilities: "With 1 being Marty Haugen and 10 being Anglican."

My future career plans: "I want to be Duncan Stroik when I grow up."