Cows, Sorcerers, Teen Nun Squad, and More

Most prominent today among the saints commemorated are St. Cornelius and St. Cyprian, respectively pope and bishop. Pope St. Cornelius was elected in a period of fierce persecution, when the possession of the Keys of the Kingdom was in all likelyhood a one-way ticket to the Mamertine prison, and also had to cope (or shall I say pluviale?) with the severe Novatianist heresy, which didn't like admitting repentant heretics into the Church. He was exiled and martyred after less than two years on the throne of Peter and is buried at San Callisto in Rome. He is patron of epileptics, cattle and domestic animals, and is invoked against twitching and earache. His emblem is, among other things, a cow. Please do not confuse him with the character in Planet of the Apes, or with alchemical kook Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa von Nettesheim (whose birthday was, incidentally, two days ago) or elephant King Babar's favorite General (long live Babar, long live happiness, of course).

His companion in the feast, St. Cyprian of Carthage, is not to be confused with the apocryphal ex-sorceror St. Cyprian of Antioch, who is, like so many fun saints, no longer on the calendar: before converting, he was said to have written a grimoire and lived in some sort of undersea cave, unless I am confusing him with someone on the Arabian Nights. I think that's right. His own (supposedly suppressed) cult is popular in Portugal for rather shady reasons, and also has given rise to a magical-miraculous chain letter of some sort. But back to our own saint of the day, who was not a magician, mercifully, nor a Novatianist. Still, today's St. Cyprian still took a rather severe view on penitence. He said that penitents should be admitted, but not after making them sweat a bit, and only under the most extreme conditions. Probably something involving the infamous tortures of The Comfy Chair and the Soft Cushions. (I make joke.) He had a habit of annoying St. Cornelius, though doubtlessly with the best intentions. He was decapitated on 14 September 258, and is patron saint of Algeria. He also seems to have written a prayer for jailers and their captives.

Besides these two holy bishops, there are on the calendar today St. Curcodomus, a Benedictine abbot and St. Dulcissima, the virgin-martyr patroness of Sutri in Italy of whom nothing is, as usual, known. More intriguing is St. Edith of Wilton, the illegitimate daughter of St. Wildfrida, and who was born, was raised and died in Wilton Abbey, of which her mother was abbess. She started out as a teenaged nun and died at the age of 23 on 14 September 984. In between being admitted to the order at age 15 and dying less than ten years later, she was offered the title of Abbess three times and turned it down three times. After dying, she is said to have smacked the devil on the head. You go, girl. Dan, I'd say she's a good candidate for patroness of the Teen Nun Squad, no? Also, there is St. Ludmilla of Bohemia, grandmother of St. Wenceslaus, who was strangled by assassins on 15 September 921, and is patroness of duchesses and in-law problems. Lastly, there are the two Spanish martyrs, St. Rogellus and St. Servus Dei, which you have to admit is a pretty sweet name.